The Power Within

The Power Within

I was fumbling around at my desk at home, trying to find the cord to my speakers so I could plug it in to my computer. There was the cord that went to the external hard drive, then there was the cord that went to my phone charger, then there was the one that went to the charger for my “other” usb devices, as well as the cord for yet another device. Didn’t have to worry about the cord that charges my laptop, because it was already plugged in. ALAS! I finally found the cord for the speakers, but when I did the strangest thing happened. As I reached for the different cords, I noticed the occasional “buzz” or “pop” from the ends touching each other…because everything was plugged into the main power strip so it was all live. [I know, I know…not the best setup, but this particular gangly mess wasn’t a usual occurrence.]

In particular, I noticed the cord to my speakers because the volume was up a little. What I noticed was that when my hand touched the plug, the speakers would hum or buzz. The first time it happened, I thought it might have accidentally touched one of the other live cords. But when I tried to use my hand to try to “protect” the end until I got it plugged in…it got LOUDER! What the…HUH??? So I dropped the cord to make sure I didn’t electrocute myself […”again” (but that’s a story for another day)].   But what had just happened? Why did it make that sound? I took inventory and once I made sure everything else was back to its intended setup, I picked up the speaker cord by the base…and deliberately touched the tip to my hand. It did it again…but I didn’t feel a current.

I did this a few times, and like a curious and fascinated child was AMAZED! So then I explored… Holding the cord by the base, I touched my desk…nothing happened.   So I touched my hand again, just to be sure…the buzz was still there. I touched a book…nothing. Touched my bare leg…buzzzzzz. Touched the desk lamp…nothing. Touched my neck…buzzzzzzz. FASCINATING! I marveled for a little longer, and then decided to go ahead and plug the cord back into the computer.   When I did, I noticed a pop and the SAME BUZZ until it was fully inserted and securely in place.

I’d heard a number of times that our bodies have enough energy in them to light an entire city, were we to learn how to harness its unique power – but I honestly thought that was just something people were saying to inspire and motivate others and make them feel good about themselves and their potential. But NOW…? I kinda believe it! Granted, my bootleg home experiment was not a sophisticated setup, and could quite possibly just be happenstance. You know, this particular brand of speakers, the type of power strip they’re plugged into, a combination of the energy of the other items also in the space…but I doubt it.

This got me thinking about the literal THOUSANDS of thoughts and ideas that pass through my consciousness on a regular basis. I also thought about the different pains and discomforts I’ve experienced…possibly due to NOT properly protecting and/or directing the power that IS ME. How many times have I doubted my ability to do/say something, or to otherwise act, thinking there was something outside of myself and the power with and in which I was born into this realm? Way too many! And how many times have YOU?

What power-packed ideas and activities have you kept unjustly and improperly shelved, waiting for something outside of your divine mandate to give you unnecessary permission to do? What have you denied yourself and the world by not realizing the incredible power that lives in you NOT because you activated it, but BECAUSE YOU ARE?!?!!! Your breath, beating heart, and even your doubts are evidence that you ALREADY have and ARE the power you need. Now, it’s only a matter of moving from curiosity and exploration on to intentional creation.

Yes, you’ll continue to face things that may cause you to doubt who you really are, and the power you actually DO have to create. But your magnificence and brilliance are really not EVER legitimately up for debate or challenge…E.V.E.R. You don’t even have to believe it to make it so. IT. JUST. IS. But in order to MASTER your ability to manifest your true desires – I mean the “real” ones, not the “it would be really nice IF…” ones – you DO need to learn your power and how to be responsible with it.

Watch any movie or read any book about superheroes “stumbling” onto their power and yes, there is the period of discovery or of fun exploration where they do dumb stuff just because they’ve discovered they can. [Think about puberty, and the realization millions of hormonal young folks have that they “can” have sex…and that they can even create another life. Great power…not always wisely exercised upon initial discovery.] Ideally, there is some trusted voice of reason that commends them for finally discovering the power that lives within them…and cautions them on being prudent with their new discovery.

I don’t know what your “superpower” is…YOU may not even know what it is yet. But I DO KNOW – without ANY shadow of doubt – that you have it. Hopefully your life is structured in such a way that you’re allowed to sit and just “be”…even if for a few deliberate minutes each day. It doesn’t have to be a long time, but having this time of quiet connection to yourself and the Power that courses through you is important. Your life will take shape and form based on how connected you remain to this understanding. It goes beyond description, labels, titles and identification. What you call it doesn’t matter. But your ability to shape your life – as well as affect the lives of others – is directly related to this power and your ability to effectively direct it.

And contrary to the popular notion that it’s more important to know your purpose, or else risk not fulfilling it, it is more important that you recognize and relate to the Power that you are. Because as you become more attuned to all of who you are, the purpose will both reveal and protect itself….and it cannot be destroyed.

Think about Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “Dream”. He is who pronounced it, but his beautiful crafting of the words that related to the hearts of millions didn’t “make” the dream. The dream’s time had come…and he was simply the man who recognized its universal cry and harnessed his own powers of words, passion, and unwavering commitment to propel it forward. And the dream did not die when his body was no more. But because he lived a life in recognition of his power, that dream “crowned” during his lifetime…even though it has YET to be fully realized…but it still continues.

And yours will, too…

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Good morning, 2015! (UNBLOCK)

What do you do when you’re blocked? Great question. I had all these INCREDIBLE ideas floating around at the end of the year, and it feels as though that “inspired” person went back to whatever universe they were visiting from, and left me here to deal with THEIR idea skeletons. Where’s the inspiration? Where’s the magic? Where are the damn ideas??? I feel like the ideas I have are broken records of “dreams past” (that never came to pass, so they’re not really “past”…but they haven’t shown me how to free them, either). So now…I’m just writing. Writing for the sake of exercising my fingers and hearing the keys on my laptop tap. Something about the SOUND of producing something…even when that “something” is completely non-descript…is mildly satisfying. And seems to summon up other words to come. Now whether they make sense or not is another story altogether, but at least I hear tapping…

When I awaken from this blank coma, I’m hoping that something of substance will have appeared once I get all the creative “eye buggers” out. It may not be THIS particular post, but something that comes forth…maybe the 3rd or 4th time I choose to exercise my fingers and take them for a stroll around the keyboard track. Who knows? But I DO know I feel my chest swelling, as if something has stimulated my ideas to come alive again. I actually FEEL the neurons in my brain firing off in the same manner that an onlooker summons others spectators of a bar fight or car accident. You know, that “OMG! I don’t know what happened, but LOOK! Words are starting to appear on the page…and they keep coming!” kinda thing.   So who knows who’ll “win” this round…? But I feel myself waking up. Even though I’m kinda stumbling around like when I wake up from sleeping in real life… It’s actually kinda funny and pathetic, because I will LITERALLY pace and walk aimlessly from room to room in my home until my body is fully awake and able to make reasonable choices on what to do. And I mean even on the everyday stuff like brushing my teeth, getting in the shower, picking my outfit, styling my hair, and whether or not I feel like doing anything to my face. I am a MESS in the morning! And this post puts me in remembrance of that same kinda “waking up” confusion.

No real insightful words, or inspiring thoughts…just getting out of the proverbial writing bed. (So don’t hold any grammatical or spelling errors against me…my foot is not even really on the floor good yet!) BUT I’m “coming to”…and thank you for being a part of my transition from sleep to awake, just by being here with me and reading this. If you want to help me even more, feel free to suggest some topics or scenarios on which I may comment, to help give my ramblings some direction while my writing vision becomes a bit clearer. In the meantime, I’m going to call this year ONE writing day…so I’ll just say “Good morning” for now and prepare for a good one.


Chasing Bad Guys

Police-sirens-and-lights

I’ve come to realize that “chasing bad guys” is EXHAUSTING!  Not in the sense of being a police officer (although I have been called that a time or two…THOUSAND), nor in the sense of being the chick that likes the so-called “bad boy” type. I’m talking about the temptation of general suspicion that follows a “fall”, if you will, of a personality or institution that was once held in high regard, or to a standard that all but ensured CERTAIN failure…no matter how long it took to become evident.

It’s so easy to become cynical (or even sinister) in the face of major disappointment…but what good does that do? It becomes a toxin that seeps into every fiber of one’s being and eats away at the very soul. Life becomes a moot point, and everyone becomes a potential enemy or betrayer.  Just thinking about such an existence, I can feel the very cellular makeup in my body changing and the energy becoming stale…

This is not to imply that one should necessarily go through life with rose-colored glasses and blinders on to the very real evils and lack of integrity and noble character that in fact DO EXIST. However, to suspect EVERYONE of such “possible” failure, or live in such a way that infers a defensive offense is the perfect way to make it through life having merely “existed” or “done time” on the earth.  One can’t possibly fully experience life’s beauty, wonder, Love, and divine exchange while being engrossed in such a dreary outlook.

I particularly appreciate Max Ehrmann’s encouragement in his 1927 poem Desiderata to “…exercise caution…but let this not blind you to what virtue there is…” This has been true from the beginning of time, but as the media relishes in glorifying and sensationalizing every negative happening, it is even more critical that we become aware of the air of light that is all around us!

We only notice the negative so prominently because it is NOT NORMAL.  Think about it… The air we breathe in is most commonly good.  Yet the only time we “notice” it is when something foul comes along and we go into maniac mode (at least I do) to try to get rid of whatever “not normal” stench is disturbing the norm. The same can be said of crime, disease (whether physical, emotional, or spiritual), and any other “evil” we perceive.

To be honest, I believe that conspiracies do exist. I believe we live and function in so many broken systems that it would drive us to literal insanity were we to REALLY know what goes on behind the scenes.  But I also believe in the inherent good that IS THE NORM. It is the air we breathe. I believe in the ultimate triumph of good over evil, and that our being here is somehow part of the solution to whatever ails the nations.

So instead of spending my energy chasing bad buys and “confirming” my (and the rest of the world’s) suspicions, I’m choosing to learn how to become aware of these rarities…while desperately fighting to strengthen my link in the chain of healing.  I believe this is the most productive use of my life.


What’s Your Address?

Live the life you LOVE

What’s keeping you where you are? Whether it be your home, your school, your job/business/career, your marriage, or your religion/church…examine and be conscious of the power of the glue that binds you to it. Love is far more powerful than fear. If you are there because you are afraid that it’ll be a mistake if you leave, that your soul will be tormented, what others will think of you or your decision, or even that nothing better exists for you and separating would make life hell for you…it is already on the verge of ending in calamity and no amount of “trying” will make it work. If you are there because your heart is content and you light up and are filled with joy and gratitude at the thought of being there, and wondering how in the world to create more things like it in your life…more is already on the way and any challenges will only increase the strength of your original “yes” to it.

In this moment of reflection and examination, make note of where your fears cause anxiety versus where your love abides. Once fear is dismissed from its imagined duty of protecting you from harm, if love grows there instead you have saved something precious from unnecessary ruin. If, however, you find that when you release fear, love leads you on another path, graciously release that situation and allow love to manifest and fortify your true heart’s desire. Fear and love cannot occupy the same space. Know the addresses of each and live accordingly.


All Things New

Image

New things always seem to infuse us with the hope of possibility. Ideals of all that we can achieve, areas we can make headway in, opportunities that not only can we seize but actually create, and so on. Everything from a new toy as kids, a new notebook as a writer, a new sketchpad as an artist, a new baby as a parent, a new spouse as a lover, a new friend as a companion, a new business venture as an entrepreneur, or a new year as a human being.

But oftentimes, somewhere along the way, the work of maintaining or “doing right by” these areas gets sidetracked by things that impersonate scenarios of dire importance. Things like over-demanding bosses/jobs, obligations we half-heartedly agreed to but now can’t go back on our word, co-dependent friends/family who are always in crisis, etc. But if we look at things honestly, these things would go on just fine if we removed ourselves from the picture. And with that as the case, and the world not falling apart, it stands to reason that the framework from which we operate should be LESS on what we “have” to do to keep the proverbial ball from dropping, and MORE on what we “desire” to do to keep our passions active and infuse life into the world we want to experience.

What reflections do we want to see? What environments, people, and experiences will best express what we know to be true of ourselves? How can we authentically show up and manifest the joy, peace, and love that we are? Every day is a perfect day to start afresh and view life from the Creator’s perspective, rather than attempting to keep up with illusions we’ve unconsciously bought into because of how damned persistent they are. So, from where you sit right now, take inventory of how you feel. Are you relaxed? Worried? Fearful? Hopeful? Horny? (Hey, let’s be real…) Expectant? Angry? Happy? Is your body comfortable? Is the air around you light or aromatic? What sounds do you hear? Birds chirping? Kids laughing? Water dripping? Cars driving by? Can you feel your breaths coming in and going out? What about your chest rising and falling with each inhale/exhale? Do you feel open to receiving? Or are you closed and protective? Just BE here in this moment. Not rushing or hurried. Not overthinking, judging, or “trying” to make it be anything in particular…just observing.

This moment was created for you…BY YOU. Rest in it. And in this space, however you’ve colored it, you can begin creating the next. Our lives are created moment by moment… What will your next creation be? Follow your bliss, and create intentionally.

Happy New Year, all.


CLASSIFIED

Classified pic

This is going to sound cliché (by the way, I’ve come to realize that some sayings have come to be what they are because they resonate for a lot of folks), but… I’m looking for someone. No, not the dashing 6-foot-something knight with piercing eyes and a blindingly gorgeous smile in a linen suit strolling toward me on a sandy beach…although I would not turn such a one away…BUT I’m not on a sandy beach, so we’d miss each other anyway.

Nay, I’m looking for someone who is calm and strong, certain yet flexible, resourceful and gracious, kind, caring, gentle, loving, forbearing, peaceable, impeccable, hopeful, and effective. Someone who remains peaceful in the most turbulent of times, and maintains not a “front” of calm but a genuine certainty that everything is alright…regardless of outcome. Someone who is magical in a crowd, but also divine in solitude…able to light up when others are present, or warmly flicker as a quiet flame and be perfectly content in either setting. Being fully present in whatever moment presents itself, or possessing strong knowledge of how to reclaim presence if ever it’s stolen by temporary chaos.

It seems like a tall order, but as the eternal optimist I am ever believing that it’s possible. Will these traits all show up at once? Eh…dunno. But it’s highly possible for them to all live and abide in the same being. And the place I’m looking? The mirror. Now I don’t know if all of these things are characteristics that rest at my core, because I’ve been so busy chasing life and things. Or if they’re yet other things that still need to be sharpened and polished. All I know is I’m exhausted. I am. I just “Am”. And I’d like to think that in “Am”ness I have nothing but the life of God (all of which these resonate as such, with me) I used to know to rely on…which is what I want to get back to.

I don’t aspire to titles. I don’t aspire to be seen or heard. I don’t even aspire to be the best at my job, or in my field of work…or even in my DESIRED field of work. And quite honestly that’s a scary place to be in for me right now…I mean, seriously. The bills don’t pay themselves. But I simply aspire to be successful at being the best ME I can be. I aspire to INspire my own life and waking. I aspire to let the child in my care know that he’s loved and fully capable of doing anything his heart desires. I aspire to show him how beautiful life can be every day and that our only limitations are those we put on ourselves. I aspire to demonstrate what bravery looks like. What honor and integrity look like. I aspire to think and live outside of the box and color outside the lines because that’s where the bigness of God is. I desire to know the depth of myself…but I’ve looked and searched and worked everywhere except within.

I’d LOVE to be able to “just live”, without the pressures of HAVING to work to provide for our basic necessities. Although I know me, and it wouldn’t be long before I’d find myself working on a passion, or trying to provide a solution for something or creating something…but THAT’s the space out of which I want to work. Because it’s coming from a pure place. From an unobstructed place.

So the question becomes how do I begin to achieve that now? From where I am now? How do I begin to sculpt my life’s happenings, my thoughts, my energy, etc. to begin to shift things to occupy more appropriate places and priorities without jeopardizing our current standard of life? I believe I’m doing some of it now, just by calling conscious attention to it. I believe the rest of the answers will come… And that’s not to sound hokey, but I just don’t have answers ready. When I started it out by saying I’m looking for answers…I really am. But I also know that the questions are already the answers in seed form, just waiting to bloom under the right set of circumstances.

Time for a shift…


Truth Hurts: Trayvon Martin Commentary

Trayvon Martin Hoodie

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a very sensitive and passionate person.  But even without that knowledge, it should not be a surprise that my heart is deeply grieving for the outcome of the Zimmerman case.

Unlike many in our country, I wasn’t glued to my t.v. screen nor was I following various feeds online as the case was unfolding.  I don’t watch or follow the news like that…that kind of energy is just too much for me to ingest on a regular basis.  But knowing what I DO know about the situation, I am hurt beyond adequate words about what the Zimmerman verdict implies about the [lack of] sanctity of African-American life in our country.  But, sadly, I’m not shocked.

There has been much talk these days about race and just how “real” racism and/or racial disparity is and continues to persist.  And many of our Caucasian counterparts are challenged by the sudden “in-your-face-ness” of our frustration, disappointment, and even anger in response to the outcome.  And while I’m only going to say this for context (and probably piss off some in the process), I believe that the African-American community now understands the disgust that rose up when the O.J. Simpson verdict came down.  Different situation, but similar context…racial tensions at their height, very emotionally charged cases, and seemingly clear-cut would-be outcomes.  But both were turned on their ears, in shocking upsets.

And while the Zimmerman trial wasn’t as dynamic a circus as the Simpson trial, it is important to note that both outcomes were made possible by the way our justice system is set up…each defendant has a right to a trial by a jury OF HIS/HER PEERS – NOT the peers of the victim(s).  Because in both cases, had the jury consisted of the peers of the deceased, both cases would have produced quite different outcomes.

It’s also important to note that in both cases, it was disgusting and absolutely ridiculous the lengths that the defense went to in order to try to smear the name and character of the deceased in order to “fight” for their client.  And while I’d like to tread very lightly here, I’m going to throw in the possibility that the guilt of the defense attorney of the 1st case led to his ultimate undoing.  I can only imagine how the same (guilt) might carry out for the defense in the 2nd case eventually.  I don’t wish it, but karma is a mother bitch…especially when you KNOW better.  A paycheck or “job” to do doesn’t negate the power of the seed being sown.

Nevertheless, my heart goes out to the family and loved ones of Trayvon Martin, and I can only imagine how disheartened they must feel.  First, they lost their son to a senseless slaying, and THEN to pour salt into that wound OUR justice system pretty much called it a truce…AFTER dragging Trayvon’s name and character through the mud.  It really is shameful.

It’s shameful that our justice system is SO marred that this type of major public travesty can happen at least TWICE without there being SOME kind of revision to such racially tense cases.  I’m not a politician, and have no desire to be one.  Nor am I an attorney or legislator, and what I’m about to suggest may be as “kindergarten” as it comes…  But the issue of race ABSOLUTELY needs to be WRITTEN INTO the way these cases are handled.  It’s not as simple as trying one man for the murder of another…because the man who was killed, in cases such as this, wasn’t even viewed as a man – he was essentially hunted prey.  And I’m not just talking in the case where the deceased is a black man…it works the other way as well.  Once the elements of the case are introduced and the subject of race is broached, everything relating to the case needs to be dealt with through that context as it is now highly probable as a motive.  Again, maybe I’m looking at it too simply.  But all the “technicalities” have allowed MANY a guilty party to walk, and MANY MORE innocent ones to pay for the crimes of those walking free.

Personally, I’m just exhausted of it all.  I really do understand Rodney King’s infamous “can’t we all just get along?” question.  And unfortunately, there is a simple answer immediately available: NO.  As long as different cultures exist, and there are those who come from and are taught (aka “programmed”) by descendants of ignorance, this kind of madness will continue.  We’ll never all “just get along”.  That’s not being pessimistic…that’s acknowledging fact.

Do you think George Zimmerman would have given Trayvon Martin so much as a second glance had he been regularly exposed to NEUTRAL and UNBIASED experiences with African-Americans growing up?  Do you think it would have entered his mind to shoot and kill that young man had he been taught to have a healthy respect for the urban culture that dressed Trayvon…even if it wasn’t his own personal preference?  Lemme TRULY take it back to kindergarten and ask this…  Do you think he would have been following Trayvon had he learned the simple courtesy of personal space???  (Following a stranger…no, PURSUING a stranger…is a DEFINITE violation of personal space.)  He certainly wouldn’t have gotten to the point of murdering that young man had he learned about the sanctity of life and valuing others who don’t look, act, or live like him.  There’s much more to say here, but you get my point, I hope.

It used to be that African-Americans moved from certain undesirable conditions to try to escape the typical dramas of living in such conditions – namely violent acts.  But this case demonstrates that moving to a “better” community can be just as (if not MORE) dangerous as (than) staying put because if our sons don’t look like they “belong” there and we don’t dress ’em up to “look the part” it’s pretty much okay to gun them down because some ignorant ass is playing neighborhood watch vigilante.  Shame on Trayvon’s parents for not teaching him the “dangers” of BEING a young black man.  Are you SERIOUS???

But as disgusting and frustrating as this all is, we shouldn’t let it end in disgust and frustration…because it only breeds more of the same.  And no, we’re not going to change the world, our county, or even our home overnight.  But we can start.  We can start with truly sitting with whatever we’re feeling surrounding the way things existing as they do right now.  Feeling all of what we feel…then allowing it to pass, so we can move into productive expression and forward movement.  BE pissed off.  BE hurt.  BE angry.  BUT don’t stay there.  Those things are toxic if we let them stay long enough…and they poison our OWN system.  The saying “[harboring negative emotions] is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die” is always good to internalize and is a great reminder.

So how do we move forward?  I think it’s important to call a spade a spade, and work within the framework of whatever exists AS it exists today…WHILE working toward what truly IS possible.  And ALL things are possible.  It is TOTALLY possible for us all to live in harmony and peace with one another, in a perfect world.  But, as we all know, our world is not perfect…nor will it ever be.  Again, not being pessimistic…just stating fact.  But, just as our President mentioned in his response to the Zimmerman trial, we can absolutely work toward a “MORE” perfect world…and it starts right here within our own borders.

Working toward a more perfect world means teaching respect, encouraging dialogue, providing a safe space to get understanding, and not taking ourselves so damned seriously.  NONE of us have ALL of the answers.  And we all NEED each other.  Not to sound like an after-school special or corny “world” song, but it’s true.  And we can’t teach it to the world – not even within our borders – if we don’t first teach it at home.

Dr. King’s dream may be in a choke hold right now…but it still lives.  I would even go so far as to say it’s no longer his dream – it should be ours.  We’re still here.  We have been given the divine gift of life, just as those who transitioned before us and who once actively walked and breathed and had the power to “do” in this realm.  We can still make change happen.  We can still impact the generations with whom we’ve been entrusted.  I’ll take it a step further, and say that we shouldn’t give up on ourselves and our own generations (whatever age we are) because life itself is evidence that change is possible…we can always choose a new direction, even if our old habit has been undesirable.  When we know better, we can do better.

When we lose a loved one, we often hear “don’t let their death have been in vain”.  And while that’s a noble idea, unless their death directly and immediately causes a possible change event, those quite honestly are just words said to try to draw a silver lining around a painful situation.  The more accurate encouragement is that we not let our own LIVES be in vain.

I have one friend who was so moved that she started a community page on Facebook that JUST honors and celebrates sons. (http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Have-a-Son) Others will begin awareness and/or empowerment campaigns within their own communities, or choose to get involved in mentoring programs that already exist.

What will YOU do to begin to be and create the change you want to see in the world…?  Because unless this IS your perfect world, “nothing” is not a viable option.